SYZYGY
Tiresius, while walking in a wood
Sacred to her ladyship Diane,
Saw two snakes copulating in the grass,
And that was when his troubles all began.
Shazaam! Diana's wrath came with a flash
And zapped our hero's hormones where he stood.
Yang became yin as through his form it ran,
And all his maleness turned to womanhood.
Out of the wood he beat a hasty path
In shock that his root had taken such a turn.
But soon he found the change was to his good,
As woman's prowess he began to learn.
What sexual pleasure woman can enjoy--
She can outlast ten partners in a night--
With thrumming fire her lovers' blood ignite,
And over and over reach her own delight.
Tiresia spent several months in bed--
Learned all love's tricks and then invented more.
Her fame at Cupid's game began to spread,
And she had lovers lined up by the score. . .
'Til, sated with lust's pleasures, one dawn bright,
And feeling in a solitary mood,
She put her clothes on, slipped out the back door,
And once more took a saunter through the wood.
Musing on her newfound sexual bliss,
And not realizing where her path had run,
She tripped over the tails of those two snakes,
Still in the throes of trying to get it on.
Shazaam again! Diana's wrath was swift--
Closing the gate to Tiresia's woman-space,
Shrinking her breasts and hips in a shocking shift,
And growing a man-root in its former place.
Thus, translated into a man once more,
And by redundant justice thus reproved,
Tiresius went home, and to the score
Of lined up lovers, announced his twin sister had moved.
Sometime thereafter on Olympus's heights,
Juno and Jove got into a marital spat.
Juno threatened to punch out her husband's lights
(Which she often did, so nothing was odd about that).
But on this day the subject of their quarrel
Was which of the sexes took the most delight
In having sex. Juno said the male,
While Jove insisted the female sex was right.
Finally, to bring some peace to their argument,
Jove sent Mercury to fetch our transsexual hero.
But far from being a domestic emollient,
Poor Tiresius almost ended up batting zero.
Said Jove, "You who have been both woman and man,
The only human we know who can so boast,
Settle our argument for us, if you can,
And tell us which sex enjoys the love act most."
"Oh, sir," said Tiresius, bowing his head quite low,
"Before I became a woman, I should have said
That man, who seems to take the dominant role,
Is the sex who has the better time in bed.
"But frankly, when I had a woman's shape,
I romped in Venus's groves in fuller measure.
So truly sir, this really is no jape:
It's woman who has the greater sexual pleasure."
Great Juno shrieked as if she'd lost her mind.
"You cur, you swine, you beast, you . . . womanabuser!
From this hour forth my curse will strike you blind!"
(Juno was never reputed to be a good loser.)
Jove couldn't call back the curse his wife had sent
But tried to mitigate poor Tiresius's plight.
"Though I can never make my wife repent,
I can at least gift you with second sight."
And thus the blind Tiresius wandered the land,
Knowing more than others, but seldom being believed
For the truths he had told, while on the other hand,
Eventually he was proved right about what he perceived.
So, sightless seer, with powerful impotence--
Ambiguousness of an ambisexual anomaly--
What is the value of Jove's recompense?
What is the moral of this little homily?
To be a syzygy, a divine hermaphrodite,
And to know both yin and yang may require a price.
To see what lies beyond other people's sight
Likewise may demand substantial sacrifice.
Feast/famine, joy/sorrow, love/hate, grace/grief, pleasure/pain--
The dichotomies list is endless for those on this plain,
But if faithful to the balance you remain,
Then knowledge, memory, and wisdom will all be your gain.
For change is the name of the game, and all power has its opposite,
And as much as the universe gives, it also takes.
Is it worth the cost? Frankly, I think it is.
If you think not, then be careful of those snakes. |
